TEARS THAT HEAL

How often have I heard as a boy growing up, “boy shut up men don’t cry.”  Words that seem to plague most of our men and boys in this country when it comes to understanding how to express our emotions and pain with out having our manhood called into question. Today was a day I did not care who saw me crying or not. The pain in my heart and chest felt as if a black hole in space had pulled all of my emotions out of me except for grief. A grief that consumed me so completely, that I was completely unaware of the fact that I was crying and who was around me.

I stared as if in some bad dream at the form I knew often. The smile that often gave me encouragement and the hands that tickled me as a little boy and made me laugh even when I did not feel like laughing now lay listless and lifeless. Disbelief and sorrow were my only companions at this moment. I had watched for a number of years as sickness had made the man I knew seem frailer and frailer in his body. However regardless of what struggles he faced, his spirit still remained strong and he was undaunted by circumstances that would have made most persons give up completely on life.

I was unaware of the stream of tears as they poured as a river out of my eyes. I heard the cries and saw the same pain reflected in the faces of my surrounding family members. Here lay, a man I respected, that helped to raise me, and named me, giving me both a purpose and a calling even through the name I was gifted with.  I loved my uncle dearly and the pain at seeing him suffer as his body deteriorated due to sickness broke my heart. Knowing there was nothing I could do for him, made the pain even more unbearable.  Yet daily except when the pain must have been to its most excruciating points I never once remember hearing him complain.

For the first time in my life, I saw something I never thought I would.  My grandfather was silently crying to himself.  This was a man I had seen remove an entire engine out by himself and was a man’s man in every way. Yet this day, upon his son’s burial his tears flowed freely as the very air we breathe.  There was no shame in his eyes, only pain and unbearable sadness. It was not encouragement for me to cry further but a revelation and understanding of how natural God had made our tears to be regardless of our gender.

I was anxious for the ceremony to be over. I could not tell you at what point the final words were spoken at the gravesite. All I knew were a lot of my memories felt as if they were being buried in that grave with each new shovel of earth heaved upon the glistening casket. Even now when I think back at that day the experience still brings a tear of sadness at my loss of such a good friend, role model and family member. Yet I am still grateful his suffering has ended.

A Moment of Clarity

We all have experienced in life some type of traumatic experience. Life can be very dismal at times and blissful at others.  Regardless of our gender, nationality or racial differences, our society teaches us sometimes to ignore the very gift God has given us in our tears.  We tell men and sometimes even women that our tears are a sign of weakness without fully understanding the mechanisms behind its purpose.  If our very tears were not meant for a purpose beyond just expressing our sorrow God would not have gifted them to us.

Physically our tears are meant to assist in keeping our eyes protected, moistened and to help remove any foreign particles from our eyes. Enabling us to continue seeing this beautiful world we are gifted with and enjoy the sight of a lovely sunrise amongst other visions of beauty.

In the same manner our tears are also a sign of release and healing from both emotional and spiritual pressures and toxins that can build up in our minds, bodies and soul just from day to day interactions. A great general in the American Army is quoted as saying ‘I am more afraid of a man and untrusting of one that does not know how to shed tears and believes that is strength, than someone who can be moved to tears in compassion.’

Our nation is in a state of trauma and pain where a lot of us are holding in sorrow, grief and despair from our daily lives. God admonished us to go into our closet to pray but also to place our woes in His hands. If that means you have to shed some tears to allow Him to empty you, heal you and then place you back on track I encourage you to do so. If God did not mean for our tears to help He would not have given them. Remember a good cry can clear both the eyes and sometimes the soul and each day strive to be a Beacon of Light.

 Beam of Light for the Week 

Our hearts are like gardens. What we sow in them is what we will reap. So remember to sow seeds of love, peace and joy so that we can reap and share the same.