New Beacon of Light Recap- Why Lord Why?

“I Can’t Take This Anymore!” I exclaimed in frustration.

It is easy to say I believe in God and God is such an awesome God when everything in our lives is going well. When the dreams and aspirations we desire are fulfilled and the promises we make to ourselves and even the promises God makes to us in our hearts and dreams come to past. Yet when we are made to wait, or before us stands a mountain of stress, worry, disappointments, bills, heartbreak it is not so easy to always keep our faith. It is here we usually wonder if God has deserted us and ask God, “Why Lord Why me?”

Looking back I cannot begin to count the many times I have stood at the door way of complete desertion of my faith and wanted to give up on life, myself and everything else. The only strand of hope I had was that God still loved me somewhere in my heart I believed and had never deserted me before. Yet in the midst of incredulous surmounting debt, disappointments and so much unexpected loss of love ones it is hard to believe that anything will get better. Yet even with all of the uncertainty life gives, God’s love has never changed. Even with all of the hurt we incur on our individual journeys, God’s mercy still remains constant. Looking through the mirror that is our physical existence and life, often or not makes us forget that there exists also a spiritual realm. Where even the simplest of our needs are already met and only require us to exercise our faith to manifest in this physical world. Yet how often we look at what’s going on around us and forget in the midst of our hurt and pain, that God knows our hurts even before we experience them and makes provision prior to us even going through the experience.

A loss of our homes, our parents, children, jobs, being betrayed by friends, love ones and so much crime in our daily lives, makes it so hard to see and live beyond our senses of sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing.  When the information that our physical senses gathers daily for us goes to our brains and hearts it is easy to ask God, “Why Lord Why”. Why am I facing all of these troubles? Why did the people I love die or hurt me as they did? Why did I lose my house, job and security? Why am I even alive? Is the only thing my life is for is to suffer? Yet even when Paul an apostle of God asked to be healed with all the work he was doing for the work of spreading God’s kingdom, from his near sightedness, he was refused and God’s simple answer to him was, “My Grace is sufficient!”

 A Moment of Clarity

James 2:14-26 speaks about faith in action and how faith without works of love and charity mean nothing. It is summoned in saying” Faith without works is dead!”   In the same line of thinking living without faith is also an empty existence. We are created in God’s image. We are not simply physical beings but spiritual beings having a physical experience. Yet it is so difficult sometimes not to focus on what is happening in our physical lives.

However the action of having faith is not just an action but a way of life. God loves us to the degree that He knows our inner most hearts, the faults we possess and the actions we will take prior to us making them. God makes provision for us prior to all of this, not so we can question God’s love and existence, but so as we can learn to understand that even our most trying life experiences are to help us to grow and develop as spiritual beings. As we grow and gain experience we are better prepared to assist in someone else’s development.

However this does not alleviate us from the responsibility of having freewill and being able to make choices and thus having to bear the consequences of those choices. It means even as we grow, utilize our faith and experience gain and loss, we learn by trusting in God’s love and provision to make better choices so when trials come we take them as the lessons of spiritual development they are and not be defeated how they affect us physically. Life is trying but God’s love is eternal and it is our faith that helps us live successful lives, even when our hearts may cry, “Why Lord Why?” I encourage you be grateful for each moment of life you are given and learn to be everyday a Beacon of Light.

 Beam of Light for the Week 

Having faith requires us to believe in God and God’s ability to keep promises even when everything and everyone around us says otherwise. Keep your faith centered on God and everything will be ok.

Light Even in Darkness

I know it is so hard to see the good in people even when they have hurt you.  Many times we simply want to give up and do not even want to have them in our lives; because we are so afraid they will hurt us again.  This sometimes leaves us not fully understanding if what was done was intentional or not.  For the most part many times we don’t care. If you hurt me, you must hate me, and before I let you hurt me again I am either going to hurt you first or just stay away from you completely.

If the person is not family or someone you live with this may be possible, but what if it’s a spouse, or coworker you have to see every day. Will you simply leave the relationship or change jobs every time? Because we do not know if an individual meant to hurt us or it was unintentional and a misunderstanding, we usually grow to expect others to simply hurt us regardless of intent. Many times it is simply communication between others that leaves us so vulnerable to be hurt. When this happens all we do is say, “AH HA! See I was right in the first place.”

It is never truly easy to forgive someone you care about or trusted that has hurt you. I tried my hardest to let go of the pain I was experiencing when I was betrayed by one of my best friends. Was it over a woman, yes it was. Yet if the individual was honest about how they had felt from the start the situation might have been different. Needless to say, the hurtful part of the entire situation was not the actions taken alone but the simple fact that it seemed our friendship never had that much value from the start, at least on their end.

It would have been easy to simply say I don’t care and forget about them. For a while I did this. Yet we often saw one another in passing, and my anger would be stirred again. God brought me to a place where I had to ask a simple question to myself. Who was I really hurting with all the anger I had. As time passed the opportunity came at a party to approach them, and I did. I said how I felt about what they did and was completely honest. Our friendship did not mend right away , but with time it did and today this person is one of my most loyal and faithful friends. My forgiveness was not just for him it was also for me.

 A Moment of Clarity

Matthew 6:14-15 says, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” We often miss the opportunity to understand just how powerful forgiveness is. Forgiveness is not just for the other persons it is also an opportunity for us to grow spiritually and be more like God and Christ. Christ was not judgmental in his actions towards others and was always quick and willing to forgive others of their sins and missteps. This gave Him both the opportunity in the moment of forgiveness to never carry the burden of another’s misstep but to also in that moment invest light and love in that person’s life. By these actions individuals were more open to Christ because they felt loved and not judged.

Many times we do not know the burdens or hurt another carries that comes across our life’s path. We cannot and are not meant to help everyone, but we miss the opportunities to help those we can or could if we place everyone in the same boat. This is not to say we are to be doormats for any and every one to step all over us or our emotions. However God knows what pains and hurt we carry in our own lives and when someone hurts us sometimes it is to our benefit and sometimes to theirs.  It is an occasion to let light shine even in darkness, whether it is for us to release and let go of hurt, pain or darkness we have hidden in our own hearts, that this person may have touched on.

It may also be an occasion for the other’s benefit and an opportunity for them to release a burden they are carrying. Many times as individuals we carry hurt around that causes us to hurt others sometimes knowingly and at others unknowingly. This happens when there is hurt or pain in our hearts that needs to be faced and released. This is where spiritual wisdom and maturity comes in to ask God to guide in how to deal with a hurtful situation so the best and necessary action can be achieved.

It is very difficult to see past the pain others may cause us. Yet if we will let God be the light in our lives and in every situation, then we in turn can truly be that little light that shines on the hill top that no one can put out. We can do this for our own lives and that of others. I encourage you to seek to have a forgiving heart and desire to be light at all times as you learn to be everyday a Beacon of Light.

 Beam of Light for the Week 

Forgiveness is a two sided sword. For firstly it frees the persons from being a burden in your heart and life who may have wronged you and more importantly it frees you from carrying the hurt others may inflict in your own heart and life.

Choosing Your Own Path

“Stop It!” I yelled at my cousin as I pulled him off the boy. The fight had erupted because of a comment the boy had made.  Even though it was insulting, my cousin had too short a fuse and preferred to think with his fist. Considering the comment was not even levied against my cousin but me, he was overreacting.  I appreciated the sentiment and he coming to my defense but for me choosing to find a peaceful resolution and not resorting to violence was the path I had chosen in life. It was not easy wanting to follow the principles of Christ when others found you to be soft or passive.  Even the principle of turning the other cheek was confusing.  How was I to realistically turn the other cheek when someone directly confronted me or wanted to cause me harm? These were things I pondered on a regular basis.

The young man had insulted my religious beliefs and my cousin being the firebrand he is came to my aid or so he thought. “Thank you, but he is entitled to his opinion,” I said half-heartedly, wanting to punch the boy in his face myself. Yet for me regardless of my internal conflict my choice was to follow the principle of love even when it was not requited. I look at our society today and find myself constantly being disheartened by the amount of violence we inflict upon one another. It seems our only answer and solution for every problem is some form of primitive response, completely ignoring our ability to reason.  I allowed the boy to rant and rave all he wanted. He said what I believed was foolish and ignorant.  Yet in the middle of his tirade I felt unnaturally calm and listened to his reasoning for his opinion. Unfortunately every word that came out of his mouth further agitated my cousin who appeared ready to tear the young man’s flesh off with his bare hands. “You know what, I have this cous”, I said quickly before he attacked the young man again. He looked at me hesitantly a moment but then started walking in the direction of his home.

As the young man continued talking he started to cry once my cousin was out of view. Taken aback and not sure what else to do I simply asked him what was wrong.  He began to tell me about his home situation and the problems his family were facing. Due to such difficulties and what he saw at home on a regular basis it was hard for him to reconcile the existence of God let alone a loving God. I listened intently to what he was saying all the while praying in my heart to ask God what I should or should not say to him. At the end of our conversation he had apologized for insulting me and I invited him to visit with me to our church. Years later I realized if I had chosen a different path on how to react to his initial insults, I could have lost a now close friend and then soul for Christ.

A Moment of Clarity

In Genesis chapter two verse seven man was declared a living soul and one of the first things he was given in addition to life was his free will and ability to make choices. God did not design us to be automatons that just did everything they were programmed to do without the ability to reason and to choose.  We have been endowed with the power to think rationally, and decide which road and destiny we will accept for ourselves and even which path in life we will follow. 

Our career paths are not the only path in life we have the opportunity to choose. Even our spiritual destinies and the things we choose to allow ourselves to focus on in our daily living.  Jesus said a man speaks out of the abundance of the things that are in his heart.  So what paths are we even choosing for our thoughts and minds today? Are we a society that is only built upon criminal, immoral and debase actions or are we a people capable of greatness in every facet of life. The choice is up to us which we will be.

It is not our leaders that have the right to choose our destination as a country. It is not our families or friends that have a right to choose our destiny and path in life as an individual. Except for our creator, we are sovereign in the direction our lives will go and the same goes for us as a country. We can be the best shining gem of the sea and Caribbean or we can be the house of debase, immoral criminals with no standards or concept of right living. The path we take and chose is truly our own to decide. I encourage you today to choose the path of life, light integrity and virtue as you live grateful for each moment of life you are given and learn to be everyday a Beacon of Light.

Beam of Light for the Week 

Tolerance and patience are like wells of living waters that wash away our prejudice and hate.  Learn to be tolerant and patient with yourself and others.

A Shattered Heart

“Get out of the way,” I screamed as loudly as I could. I careened the car to just narrowly avoid hitting the little girl by no more than a hairsbreadth. She had suddenly walked into the street out of nowhere, without any warning. I brought the car to a stop and felt my heart beating in my throat. “What were you thinking?” I shouted at her still angry by the fact she ran into the street but even more so by the fact I was terrified out of my mind of having come so close to hitting her and possibly taking her life. My mind raced a thousand miles a second. The only thought I had was what if it were one of my children and was about to begin another tirade of how foolish she was for running into the street until I saw her facial expression.

I looked into the little girls eyes and saw how frightened she truly was. Even more terrified than I had been for nearly hitting her. I took a deep breath, calmed myself and asked her name. She told me still shivering with fright and stuttering as she pronounced her name. “Why did you run into the road like that?” I asked now finally able to control the anger in my voice. “A dog was chasing me,” she said in a quiet voice and began to cry. I comforted the child and helped her find her way back home. As I pulled off from the child’s house, after having to explain to her mother what had happened, I breathed a sigh of relief.

I turned on the radio to listen to some music as I headed home. One of my favorite artists, Music Soul child, was singing one of my favorite melodies, Love. As I finally was beginning to settle after still being a little shaken from nearly hitting the little girl a news report interrupted the music. My heart stopped and blood ran cold as I listened to the reporter describe the scene of an accident. Apparently a little child was crossing the street in front of a bus that let her off and another bus driver trying to overtake hit and killed the child as the child was crossing the street.

For a moment I don’t know if I was simply in a bad dream or a living nightmare. The reporter continued to report how those persons who were on the scene attacked the driver in a rage. I felt comforted by that but also saddened at the same time. However, the full realization of the fact that it could have been me a few minutes earlier or even my child hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, thinking of the child I narrowly missed, my own children, and the parents of that child, who now carried the burden of a shattered heart after losing their little one.

 A Moment of Clarity

The Bible speaks of God’s wrath in the Old Testament in many places. Yet even in God’s anger, there is always room for love. We daily cannot begin to fathom how much more God loves us than wants and desires to be angry over some of our foolish choices. Jesus spoke of being angry but not sinning. Anger alone is not a sin, yet how we deal with our anger can lead to sin or even salvation.  In his wrath Cain killed Abel, in his anger David condemned his own selfish actions, and even Moses in his anger caused himself not to be able to walk into the ‘Promise Land.’

Many times in our lives we face things that greatly affect us and stir us to anger. A lot of those times are in regard to things that have caused us to have a broken or even shattered heart. Yet even in our pain and anger, we can still learn to find hope and ask God to turn the pain of loss or even betrayal to something that can be used to bring glory to Heaven’s kingdom. It is not easy when someone hurts us to always forgive. Forgiveness is a process. It is not a onetime thing forgiving someone. It might take years until you are finally free from the pain someone has caused you or even you another individual. Yet the pursuit of love and forgiveness is easier than carrying the burden of anger and a shattered heart.

As we work daily to pursue excellence in our lives I encourage you to pursue love to overcome anger and hate and be grateful for each moment of life you are given and learn to be everyday a Beacon of Light.

 Beam of Light for the Week 

Anger is like a poison that saps away our strength and very lives. Yet love is the balm that heals all, pursue love and healing in your lives daily.

Love Deprivation

“Breathe! Breathe!” I screamed internally as hard as I could as I watched my little one fight to grasp a breath of air. I knew what it was to have difficulty breathing, growing up I was asthmatic as a child. My heart grieved within my chest, knowing there was nothing more I could do except let the doctor do his work. I could not begin to imagine what I would do if something happened to my bundle of joy. Love was a word I used in many relationships. Until this one I don’t think I ever really understood what it was to give a completely unconditional love without looking for something in return. It was a long night.

My patience was tried and I wanted to rest, however just waiting to hear what the doctor had to say kept me up. I thought of all the things I should have done but either failed to do or just made excuses at the time.

I said a silent prayer to God asking for everything to be alright and promised I would spend more time, and pay more attention once He allowed everything to be alright. An hour seemed like ten, and two like an eternity had passed. Finally I saw the approach of a white robe. I was uncertain if it was the same doctor until he stood right in front of me and said everything was alright.  It was a slight case of pneumonia the doctor went on to say.  He further explained the cause of what possibly caused it but I only heard everything would be alright. I thanked God in my heart and could not wait to see my baby and know she would be alright. I paid attention to the doctor’s explanation and the medication he said to buy. The words I had been waiting to hear all-night finally came. “You can take her home,” he said.

The words echoed in my heart and I was awash with joy knowing my little one was going to be alright and she was coming home.

When we finally arrived home, I quickly wrapped her up and took her inside to avoid any night air getting on her.  As I laid her down to sleep, my attention was drawn to the news report on the television. Apparently, a mother was being tried for killing her child and burying the child’s body in the woods. It was a story that happened in the United States. I looked at my little one now sleeping calmly and breathing a lot clearer than she was hours before and a tear rolled down my cheek.  Just from the thought of her not being able to breathe my heart was grieved, how much more to have her life taken or even worse to take her life by my own hand. I was dismayed and completely traumatized to think how any parent could be so cruel to deprive their child of life and more so love.

 A Moment of Clarity

As little children of God, He is constantly grieved to see us hurt or in pain when He would so willing pour His love as a river of living water into our lives. Even more so how often do we grieve God even further when we fail to love one another and give God the opportunity to use us to pour love into the lives of others and even our own.  We look around us and see crime constantly increasing and becoming more violent. Unemployment, poverty and depravity becoming the norm, and we would ask where is love in any of this. Christ said all the laws and rules were summed up in two commands. Love God with all you are and have and love your neighbor as you love yourself.

During this season and time that romantic love is so celebrated a lot of time we get caught up in the material aspect, worrying about what gift we will get and completely forget the spirit of the season.  In the world we live in today, it is a deprivation of sincerely genuine love in our homes, relationships, communities that has caused us to be in the trouble we see all around us. To coin a phrase, “Hurt people, Hurt people.” I encourage you during this time of Valentine and love to remember the beauty of love. For simply God is love. Love one another with sincerity and allow God to use your lives as a fountain to pour His love through. As we work and toil to fill each home with love and stave off the overflow of love deprivation that exists in our world to today let each of us be grateful for each moment of life you are given and learn to be everyday a Beacon of Light.

 Beam of Light for the Week 

There is nothing more powerful than a bond forged out of love. Love is what holds the planets, stars and universe in place, so I encourage you to forge everlasting bonds filled with love today.

One Step Forward

I watched as the first rain drops fell slowly. It very quickly went from a slow drizzle to a torrent and hard downpour. As hard as it was raining I did not mind and barely noticed. Being wet and soaked to my bones actually made me feel a whole lot better. I find it ironic how life often will give you what you desire when you ask. However when you receive it you find it is barely all you thought it would be. This was one of those days for me.

I had desperately wanted to get my own place and move away from home. I had become restless and felt it was time to have my independence. I had made all of my decisions without any consultation but regardless, they were my decisions. I had already bought my own vehicle and did not have any problems with my payments. I decided to have my mortgage refinanced so I could move out on my own. I was so excited when I first applied and even more elated when I had received my approbation. I was finally on my way and would be my own man.

I thought I had covered all my necessary considerations. My car was being repaired at the moment, and even that had did not dampen my spirits. I had been catching the bus for two weeks and sometimes it was tiresome. However even public transit could not ruin my day today. I was getting my money and would be able to get my own place. I was finally making headway in my life and taking my steps forward to being completely independent.

I stopped just short of falling. I did not see the piece of wood protruded in the street due to the level of the precipitation. I righted myself and I continued walking in the rain toward home. At this time home was my Grandmother and Grandfather’s house, where I grew up. I barely recalled what the loan officer had said about the mortgage. The only thing that stuck out in my mind was the new interest rate and the amount of time it would take to pay the additional monies back. I felt foolish. I was so excited by my newly conceived freedom that I did not consider or ask everything I needed too. I looked to heaven and asked God if this was a cruel joke for me simply wanting my own freedom.

 A week turned into two and I had reclaimed my vehicle and had begun my search for my own apartment. Even though I had felt originally discouraged by my new mortgage and could have made better decisions how I went about getting out, I was moving forward. It was one bump in the road but I keep focused on gaining my sense of independence and to my step forward.

A Moment of Clarity

In Philippians 3:14 Paul states ‘I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. ... from the ... with my eyes fixed on the goal I push on to secure the prize of God's heavenward call in Christ Jesus!’ Paul understood that life would not always be straight forward and that no matter how well you planned life would bring you unexpected surprises. Even with all he went through nonetheless he keep his eyes, heart and mind fixed on his true goal and purpose which was to see Christ at the end of his journey.

Not every day will be a day you feel like smiling. Not every day you will feel elated and that life is a wonderful journey. Yet it is just that a journey. Like any journey you will have your highs and lows, valleys and mountain tops but regardless, trust in God and always press forward.

God knows our strengths and weaknesses, better than we know them ourselves. Yet we are constantly encouraged to trust God even though we will encounter troubles. Yet God know this is for us to learn not just to trust but also for us to grow and keep us moving forward and not becoming complacent in our comfort zones.

Some lessons are so much harder to learn and comprehend than others. Sometimes we feel alone and deserted like no one understands, yet God understand. Even then we are encouraged if we cannot stand to stand and press forward. For even though life’s journey will test us sometimes to the point we feel destitute of strength all we can do is take our journeys and move forward one step at a time.  Press forward I encourage you as you work towards your goals and purpose in life and be grateful for each moment of life you are given and learn to be everyday a Beacon of Light.

Beam of Light for the Week 

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Push Towards your goals one step at a time.

Walking A Mile

I looked down at the ground as I walked my long journey home. It was already dark and it looked as it was going to rain. Frustrated, I cursed under my breath to myself. Here I was walking my bike home with a busted tire. I had laughed at a friend a day ago and called him stupid because he was riding in the rain and had gotten a flat because he dropped in a pot hole filled with water and did not see what had ruptured his tire. Now a day later I am walking home with my own bicycle miles from home and not  even a gas station or tire shop nearby so I can get a patch. I felt so foolish for riding so far by myself with no patch kit but even more so for laughing at my friend in his misfortune.

As I stood on the bank line I wondered why my mind had gone back to that particular memory.  Behind me a woman was clamoring on and on about the service in the bank. She had started to complain until the bank manager eventually came out and was trying to assist the number of tellers that were serving.  A number of other customers had started in with her, which only encouraged the woman to increase her volume.  Little by little I was getting irritated with her constant complaints. I understood the frustration of waiting on the line wanting to be served. However, I knew from experience also the frustration of being a teller and having the customers use you as their target of frustration when there was nothing you could do to speed up the process.

Being a teller was already frustrating trying to work both quickly and accurately, especially when there were only few of you working the line. Most customers came to do one or two transactions, however there were some whose request could take more than a few minutes especially if it was a large transaction.  Regardless of who comes to assist it still only leaves the limited number of tellers to serve and enter the transactions. If you rush, you make errors and customers who want you to work quickly are not very understanding of you making mistakes on their accounts. As a teller you have no control over when your co-workers take breaks or even how much staff you work with. A more friendly and professional demeanor is something that each customer deserves.  I will be hard pressed to lie if I said I wanted to smile with every customer, when I have my supervisors rushing me, the customers rushing me and using me for their target of angry protest.

Ironically, when the customer behind me finally reached the counter she smiled with the teller and told her not to mind the other customers. I walked out of the bank completely appalled by her hypocrisy. Later at a government institution I saw the same customer who was behind me in the bank. Apparently she worked customer service and her customers here were none too happy with the speed of her service.  My mind flashed both to the bank and my friend years ago and I realized how important compassion and patience for others can be and important it is to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.

A Moment of Clarity

When the leaders of Israel brought to Christ a woman caught in adultery to see how he would judge or condemn her, he ignored them. Instead of answering their questions Jesus began to write on the ground and continued to ignore them. As they got bolder in their demands and asked him what should be done, he simply answered he who is without sin cast the first stone. On the ground the leaders recognized what Jesus was actually writing was a list of sins and as each one recognized something they were guilty of they walked away ashamed, embarrassed or just angry at Jesus’s actions.

We see our brothers and sisters daily caught up in a number of situations and so easily say, “That would never be me.”  Forgetting it is truly only God’s grace and guidance that has helped us not to step left or right where we would have easily found ourselves in the same predicament or event worse. As none of us is perfect, but on a journey of spiritual perfection, we must remember Christ words not to judge, lest we be judged in the same manner.

It requires patience and love for us to walk a mile in our brothers or sisters shoes to get a true understanding of what another is going through. In addition we all have our crosses to bear and what is one person’s burden today becomes their testimony tomorrow and pillar of strength in the future to help someone else overcome the same.  I encourage you today to be patient with one another and love each other, be not quick to be judgmental and learn to be everyday a Beacon of Light.

Beam of Light for the Week 

It is easy to judge when we have never been in someone’s circumstance. Remember not to judge, least we be judged by the same standard we use and find ourselves in the same situation.