I know it is so hard to
see the good in people even when they have hurt you. Many times we simply want to give up and do not
even want to have them in our lives; because we are so afraid they will hurt us
again. This sometimes leaves us not
fully understanding if what was done was intentional or not. For the most part many times we don’t care. If you hurt me, you must hate me, and before I let you hurt me again I am either going to hurt you first or just stay away from you completely.
If the person is not
family or someone you live with this may be possible, but what if it’s a
spouse, or coworker you have to see every day. Will you simply leave the
relationship or change jobs every time? Because we do not know if an individual
meant to hurt us or it was unintentional and a misunderstanding, we usually
grow to expect others to simply hurt us regardless of intent. Many times it is
simply communication between others that leaves us so vulnerable to be hurt.
When this happens all we do is say, “AH HA! See I was right in the first place.”
It is never truly easy to
forgive someone you care about or trusted that has hurt you. I tried my hardest
to let go of the pain I was experiencing when I was betrayed by one of my best
friends. Was it over a woman, yes it was. Yet if the individual was honest
about how they had felt from the start the situation might have been different.
Needless to say, the hurtful part of the entire situation was not the actions
taken alone but the simple fact that it seemed our friendship never had that
much value from the start, at least on their end.
It would have been easy to simply say I don’t care and forget about them. For a while I did this. Yet we often saw one another in passing, and my anger would be stirred again. God brought me to a place where I had to ask a simple question to myself. Who was I really hurting with all the anger I had. As time passed the opportunity came at a party to approach them, and I did. I said how I felt about what they did and was completely honest. Our friendship did not mend right away , but with time it did and today this person is one of my most loyal and faithful friends. My forgiveness was not just for him it was also for me.
A Moment of Clarity
Matthew 6:14-15 says, “For
if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also
forgive you. But if you do not forgive
men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” We often miss the opportunity to understand just how powerful forgiveness is. Forgiveness is not just for the other persons it is also an opportunity for us to grow spiritually and be more like God and Christ. Christ was not judgmental in his actions towards others and was always quick and willing to forgive others of their sins and missteps. This gave Him both the opportunity in the moment of forgiveness to never carry the burden of another’s misstep but to also in that moment invest light and love in that person’s life. By these actions individuals were more open to Christ because they felt loved and not judged.
Many times we do not know the burdens or hurt another carries that comes across our life’s path. We cannot and are not meant to help everyone, but we miss the opportunities to help those we can or could if we place everyone in the same boat. This is not to say we are to be doormats for any and every one to step all over us or our emotions. However God knows what pains and hurt we carry in our own lives and when someone hurts us sometimes it is to our benefit and sometimes to theirs.
It is an occasion to let light shine even in darkness, whether it is for
us to release and let go of hurt, pain or darkness we have hidden in our own
hearts, that this person may have touched on.
It may also be an occasion for the other’s benefit and an
opportunity for them to release a burden they are carrying. Many times as
individuals we carry hurt around that causes us to hurt others sometimes
knowingly and at others unknowingly. This happens when there is hurt or pain in
our hearts that needs to be faced and released. This is where spiritual wisdom
and maturity comes in to ask God to guide in how to deal with a hurtful
situation so the best and necessary action can be achieved.
It is very difficult to see past the pain others may cause us. Yet if we will let God be the light in our lives and in every situation, then we in turn can truly be that little light that shines on the hill top that no one can put out. We can do this for our own lives and that of others. I encourage you to seek to have a forgiving heart and desire to be light at all times as you learn to be everyday a Beacon of Light.
Beam of Light for the Week
Forgiveness is a two sided sword. For firstly it frees the persons from
being a burden in your heart and life who may have wronged you and more
importantly it frees you from carrying the hurt others may inflict in your own
heart and life.
